31 Days to a Better Marriage, Day 14


Day 14: Love and Respect

This post is the start of 6 posts about needs.  The basic needs of of a wife come down to love, and the basic needs of a husband come down to respect.

Sounds easy, and yet it's not.  We could probably talk about this for years and still not be done!  Which might be why there are so many books on the subject.  (Love and Respect is a good one start with)

Here are 3 ways to start to meet your spouses needs.

For Wives: Respect your husband by...
1. Submitting to him, letting him lead the family.   Support his decisions and respect the authority God gave him.
2. Tone of voice.  Talk to your husband with respect and friendship in your tone.  Not one of nagging or condensation.  Husbands are not for us to mother, but to respect.
3.  Put him first, before kids and chores and the busyness of life.  Does your husband like to have you sit next to him while he watches football?  Then do it!  Forget about the list of things you "have to do" today and put his needs above your own.  Show him respect by putting him first.

For Husbands:  Love your wife by...
1.  Listening.  You probably had a long hard day at work, and she did too.  Let her talk about her day, be kind and supportive.  Listen and let her feel heard.
2.  Learn to speak her love language.  Does she like gifts, acts of service, quality time or physical touch?  Whatever it is, meet her needs.  Let her know she is important to you and that you love her.
3.  Speak lovingly to your wife.  Don't grunt at her when you come home from a long day.  Instead look her in the eyes, tell her you missed her and you are so glad to be at home with her.

This is a short list, but hopefully will get you both moving in the directions of love and respect in your marriage.

Did I miss something?  Is there a way you show love or respect that I needed to include, please let me know in the comments.


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