My Husband's Mistress

This is not something I often talk about. You may be shocked to learn what I am about to reveal.  For the last ten years I have been dealing with this, and it's time I said something.

My husband has a mistress.

It started a few weeks after we were married and has been growing into a larger issue ever since.

My husband has a mistress.  She calls him at all times of the day.  He thinks about her when he is with me.  She pulls him from our home at night, disrupts family time, and interrupts our vacations.

How and why have I put up with this?  The answer might shock you.  This mistress of his is something I can be proud of. 

My husband's mistress is his work.

I actually didn't know this until after we were married.  He always had a part time job in college, and interned over the Summers, but nothing to indicate how he would become consumed by work.  But as I think back, there were other clues.

  • He has always been respected by other men.  This is one thing that drew me to him.  If men respected him, so could I.

  • He is kind with people.  He gives them more slack than I ever would, and understands their motives.  His way with others is something people respond to.

  • Men seek out his council.  Got a tough issue?  Then my husband is the man to talk to.  He gives wise, sound council and you leave knowing the right thing to do.

These clues indicate a man who is not a workaholic, but a man who takes up the mantel of responsibility.

He is loyal and devoted to the tasks given to him.  He has always assumed more responsibility than anyone else given the same task.  So how is this rewarded?

More responsibility.

At the end of the day when he comes home, I get a shell of a man.  He is tired and worn down from the battles he has had to fight.  This is why I do not say anything about his mistress.  What good would that do? 
He works to provide for our family, and even without a full time job he would always find ways to challenge and test himself.  No matter what he does men will look to him for leadership, and he responds by being someone they can count on.

Which means, he is someone I can count on.  When all is said and done he leads by example.  He knows his priorities and they are in the right place.  
  • He has never once missed a prenatal checkup.
  • When I need him he drops everything and rushes to my side.  
  • He might not always be fully present with me but he is 100% with our daughter.  Full eye contact, attentive and engaged. 
 He has his flaws and is not perfect.  But he is perfect for me, even with his mistress.
 PS. If you are looking for be Simply Better's Tuesday Tips link up, it has moved to Fridays!  Come back this Friday for: Faithful Fridays.  It's 4 blog hops in 1, and will be even better than Tuesday's Tips.